Episode 48 Clarity & the Gift of Having an Outside Advisor

Are you needing more clarity in your life? One of my favorite ways to get a better understanding about a situation is to actually ask myself (my Inner Wisdom) and my Upstairs Team to bring more clarity and a message about a situation to me. The insight I am looking for might be downloaded via journaling, I might read something that triggers a deeper awareness, it might come to me during meditation or while dancing or running or driving or showering, or the message might even come from what someone else says to me.

Today, I received a big insight into my own behavior from a coach that I have been working with for the past few months. Since I have asked her to help me, and she has seen my patterns of behavior and the excuses that I use over and over, she is able to be a mirror for me so that I can see the truth of how I am showing up in my life. And today, I finally was able to clearly see that my belief that I never having enough time, is really just a story and a deep-seated excuse for not doing what I say I really want to do. Once I finally let myself see and understand the deeper level of this excuse that I use in a million different ways, I could see how this pattern is completely disempowering.  And I have used it so much because it has served me on some level — it keeps me in my comfort zone, it is familiar and common (a lot of people say they don’t have time to justify not doing what they really want to do), and it means I don’t have to do the things that I just don’t feel like doing. It is an excuse that has served me well in several ways — keeping me safe and keeping my life the same as it was yesterday, and the year before that. And so I thank this excuse for doing its job to keep me small and safe, and I forgive myself for using it for so long. I am ready to let go of the story that I don’t have enough time.

I am so grateful that I have someone in my life that can be a true mirror for me and hold me accountable to doing what I say I want to do and being true to the person that I say I want to be. While we all have family and friends who will listen to us list off our excuses for why we aren’t doing the thing that we really feel called to do, very few will call you out on your excuses because it causes conflict. That is why licensed therapists don’t treat family members or friends — there is a clear conflict of interest. But if you can find or hire someone that you know, like, and trust to be a sounding board and a mirror for you to help you see where you are standing in your own way and how you can move forward, that is a gift that is worth giving yourself.

The truth can be hard to swallow. I know that I didn’t want to hear that I was standing in my own way using this tired old excuse that I didn’t have any time. But I am so grateful that I allowed myself to really listen and to let the insight finally land, because I now have the clarity that I was looking for, and I feel empowered to make choices that serve me when I think about time, scheduling, and holding the boundaries that I put in place to support myself. Diving deeper and looking for insights and clarity are essential tools in the inner game of business.

I feel like the experience I had today is one of the reasons that I am so passionate about being a coach myself. The ability to be seen, and heard, and fully experienced by someone who wants only the best for you is such a gift to give yourself. I am always grateful for the time spent with the coaches and mentors that I have hired on and off over the past 7 years, and I’m grateful for the inner work that I do on my own on a daily basis. You don’t have to hire a coach, but today, I am so grateful to finally have the clarity around my #1 way to sabotage myself, and I wouldn’t have seen it without my coach who has been able to observe my patterns over the past few months.

I think that everyone deserves to do work that lights them up and get paid for it. I think that everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin, to love themselves unconditionally, and to make peace with the stories and excuses that keep you stuck. I’d love to help you if I feel like the right fit for you. Click here to schedule a time to talk: http://bit.ly/effortlessu