Fear. Until we learn to dance with our dread, we will remain its prisoner. When I love my fear and feel into how it is there to serve me and protect me, I can be friends with it. We dance together. And by welcoming my fear to be a part of me instead of fighting it, I am free to move forward.
Why is fear so powerful? In many cases, fear was one of our earliest protective mechanisms. We have all learned many lessons from fear that might have even taken place before our conscious memories formed. Fear warned us of the danger of falling down the stairs before we had mastered walking and balance – it kept us physically safe. Fear kept us from straying too far from our guardians when we were at the park or in a crowded place – it kept us safe from getting lost. Fear motivated us to work hard and do our best to please our parents so we could have food, shelter, and love – it kept us alive. While we are in these bodies, we want to stay alive! It is a primary motivating factor in all the decisions we make. We cannot avoid it. Fear will always be there in our animal brain, our most primal brain. We are motivated on a core level to stay alive, and that means staying safe. The problem is that our primal brain doesn’t know that we are adults and don’t need the same level of safety that we needed as babies and children. We can move forward in our career and love life; we can take risks and start a business or look for a job in a completely new industry. We can leave a lover or a marriage and still be okay! These are manageable risks that are okay for adults to choose. We will survive!
So this fear that served us as children, now keeps us stuck if we don’t make friends with it. As adults, if we feel scared to move forward into the work that we love, then we will stay constrained by childhood beliefs, like wearing a costume that fit us at age 6, but obviously doesn’t fit us anymore. If as an adult woman, you are worried about what your parents will think of your career, your sex life, your lifestyle, or parenting choices, then you are probably letting your childhood fears dictate everything you do. You cannot control what other people think about you. So you might as well do what you love and do whatever it takes for you to love and accept yourself.
The beauty of time and space is that you get to grow and change. You have control over your thoughts, your attitude, and many of the actions you take. The more mindful you are, the more you can consciously observe and question your fears, the faster you can move forward into the life you want. You can choose to embrace your fears, dance with them, integrate the wisdom they have to share with you, and then move forward in an inspired way.
My fears are always with me. I am human and my primal brain wants to keep me safe too. But I choose to embrace the parts of me that just want to be safe and secure, I get them on board with the bigger plan I have for my life, and then I can move forward with what I am here to do. It is a daily practice.
If you’d like help around meeting and dancing with your fears, schedule a Simplification Session and we can work together to make peace with one of your fears so you can move forward feeling lighter and more integrated.